you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
