Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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