see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
is it fun? or sober?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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