you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
