Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure

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(404): View more from Georgia

I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

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(310): View more from California

as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'

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(630): View more from Illinois

Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..

Fav 7 4261 1974
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(716): View more from New York

i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.

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(716): View more from New York

i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.

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(325): View more from Texas

Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money

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(224): View more from Illinois

whered you go

(847): View more from Illinois

woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often

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