i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
