he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize