if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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