How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
