My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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