I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
