physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
