Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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