lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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