there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
