Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
