I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
