Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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