Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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