I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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