I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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