The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize