is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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