What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
