Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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