Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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