adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
