There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
