sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
pray to the hookup gods
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
