Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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