Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize