Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
