She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
