yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
