I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
