this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
