Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This toilet bowl is my home.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
