I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
