I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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