Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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