Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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