You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
