Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
