Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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