Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
