Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
