i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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