the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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