VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
