i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
