For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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