5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
