I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
