She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
