I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
