Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
