Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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