Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
its not stalking. its research.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
