She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
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I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
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Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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