he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i drank out of a bidet.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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