I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So much Jack, so little girl.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
