You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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